Publin

Alright, I am not that brilliant - I stole "publin" from my tourist book.
This will be a post strictly of quotes from last night, in the pub. Excuse the language, we were in Ireland....haha......:

Drunk guy at lunch: "American food is shit"
me: what kind of American food did you have that you didn't like?
him: your sodas are enormous and your KFC sucks.


me: What's your name?
fake patrick: what do you want it to be?
me: patrick.
fake patrick: that's what it is!!!!!
--- we're still not sure if he was telling the truth. He offered to show us ID if Courtney kissed him. haha.

fake patrick: "I have outside and inside feelings for you" (to Courtney)

fake patrick: "Let me give you some advice, from some one who has been with a LOT of women. If a boy ever says "I love you...but" tell 'im to fuck off!!"

Fake patrick: are you ladies single?
me: we are single tonight!!
court: (aside) Stephanie I'm always single!
me: SHUT UP it sounds better that way!!!


fake patrick: "What shall we do tonight....do you like helicopters?"
me: I've never been in one....
fake Patrick: YOU WOULD LOVE MY HELICOPTER

hahaha, all in jokes, of course

Fake patrick (he was our favorite): "You see that guy over there? Last time I saw him I crashed 'is barge! He said stay between the balls and I was like what balls!? But don't talk to him about that.....*turns around* ....HEY! do you remember when I crashed your barge!??! (guy comes over)
Guy proceeds to tell us that it wasn't a barge, it was a 12 man "gentleman's yacht" that was 90 summot years old. Which doesn't explain how Patrick killed its electric motor.....which is what he did, he didn't crash it. And apparently he tried to row it to shore............didn't work.

Then the guy told us about the last time they had been in a pub together. They told the owner that if they could have free drinks all day, they would play a gig that night. So they drank all day and were too drunk at the end to play, so they ran out the back door.

we meet fantastic people.

"I love courtney, she's so beautiful, on the inside and out. (aside to me) she's a dark horse......
and I'm a fuckin' cowboy." - Fake Patrick

Courtney bought a lighter that looks like a can of guinness, which is genius until Irish people ask you for a light....They thought that was QUITE hilarious.

me: we're going to the bathroom
fake patrick: WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?
me: we'll be back. Promise.
Fake patrick: Don't GOOO
me: I'll be back. Pinky swear. do you know what that is? It means if I lie to you you can cut off my pinky.
Fake patrick: *pulls his hand away* listen if I lie to you you're not touching my fuckin' pinky.....

We met a guy who worked at IBM, and had worked for Apple. I told him I was a communications major and he got all excited. He probably said "keep it simple" about 20 times in 5 minutes.

Fake Patrick: New York....what a fuckin shit 'ole. For a city that never sleeps there's nothing to fuckin' do!

Liam: (ever time Fake Patrick would come around...) aaaaaaapppy biiiiiiirrrrrtthhddaaaay tooooooo youuuuuu!!!! (using a different name for him every time, we think it was so Fake Patrick would get some random action....)

Liam aka Bob Dylan: Where are you from?
us: the states.
Liam: THANK YOU. Listen, I've been to America three times!
us: yeah? where?
Liam: Cuba, Chile, and Peru.

Old Guy (the captain of the gentleman's yacht): So do you guys know cows?
us: cows?
Guy: yeah, like do you have cows around where you live?
Court: yeah....
Guy: So I have a question for you. If you have a tree, in the middle of the field. *pause*
us: yeeeeaaah?
Guy: and you have a cow with a rope around it's neck, how much grass can it eat?
Me: What?
Guy: how much grass can a cow eat in one day?
Courtney: how long is the rope?
guy: doesn't matter.
Me: Cows have like 8 stomachs.
Guy: so?
Me: uuuuh.....100 yards.
Courtney: as long as the rope is!!
Guy: WRONG! it's not tied to the tree! *cracks up* tell that to your friends at home!!!!

Liam: You guys are lovely for American.
Court: really? you don't think we're stuck up?
Liam: Oh you're still stuck up!!!!! But you're lovely! Just lovely!!!


A random guy asked us for a light...
me: where are you from?
guy: The shittiest country in the world. guess.
me:.......uuuhhhmm....Russia?
guy: no.........Americans hate us.
me:.........uuuhhhhmm......Russia.
guy: This isn't the 60's!!!
me: mmm.....France!
guy: yeah.

Liam: I mean, you guys are, technically, the bastard children of England.....

Fake Patrick: "ere, have you got a pen? I'm going to give you my website"
me: I have an excellent memory, let's hear it
fake patrick: duble-ya duble-ya duble-ya duble-ya
friend of FP: That's 4 Duble-yas!! You haven't even gotten to the name yet and you're already fuckin' lying!!!
Fake Patrick: Well how many bloody double-yas would you like?!?!
me: usually 3.
Fake Patrick: LIKE... I was saying......duble-ya duble-ya duble-ya.......DOT.......a-r-t-u-r gutentag.
me: Arthur Gutentag?
Fake Patrick: without the H!! ARTUR!!

Me: Fake Patrick! Don't spill your beer!
Fake Patrick: Hey!! Listen to me! I don't spill a fuckin drop of beer.
Friend of FP: That's the first honest thing you've said all night!!!


At the end of the night....and it was true....